What should be done if someone doesn't respect you?

The simple principle is, to give respect and get respect.

If someone disrespects you they may lack self-respect and has some low self-esteem and insecurity issues, and putting others down makes them feel superior and boosts the ego. But just because he has the need to boost his ego he has no right to trespass on others' boundaries. You have to assertively express yourself, speak up your mind, stand up for your boundaries, and tell him, look, I respect you and expect you to respect me as well, if you continue to disrespect me, I cannot assure you of my response towards you and will not be responsible for my behavior.

We are good on this.

If there is still an instance of his brash and flippant behavior ‚immediately bring it into focus, ask for an explanation, let him have a piece of your mind, and tell him you asked for it, you get what you give No problem, it's your right. The problem, from my point of view, is that there are TWO separate kinds of respect, but it is treated as if there is only one.

I will explain.

The common view of respect is that you have to earn it. Earn it, by way of your actions. But that can only happen if your actions match up to a person's expectations of you. You cannot earn a person's respect if that person does not think that what you do deserves respect.

For example, a lot of people pay you respect based on your job. If you say you're the manager of a bank, for example, there's a level of respect

there.

If you say you're a cashier at a grocery store, depending on the person, you may not be able to gain their respect.

Your opinion is also judged with a certain level of respect, even on this website. Your credentials earn you respect if you say you are a psychologist, for example. Your opinion may have more weight on certain people because of your achievement.

I have a lot of problems with the way we handle respect because I don’t think it’s fair to judge a person based on what they have or have not accomplished. If everybody is given the exact same opportunities in the exact same manner with a level playing field that treats everyone equally, then respect could make some sense to me, because everybody would have an equal shot at achieving things.

But this is NOT true in this world. The playing field is NOT level, NOT fair, and certainly NOT equal. A graduating class is said to have an equal shot at going to college, but it is already a given that not everyone that is qualified to get into one will. Therefore, there is a certain percentage of students guaranteed to fail, before they toss their hats into the air.

Going back to what I said in the beginning, I believe that there should be TWO kinds of respect. The first I’ve already spoken about and don’t necessarily agree with.

The second, however, is general respect for other people, simply because they are alive. We don’t know why they are where they are, why they do what they do, what hardships they’ve had, or what problems they’ve faced. Worse still, assuming that everyone really does have an equal shot at their dreams, for the sake of argument, who would be left to BE janitors and garbagemen? Who would be left to BE cashiers and fast food cooks?

So I guess I would say that it is THEIR PROBLEM that they don’t respect you, and you need to let go of trying to gain it from them. Chances are very good that people’s lack of respect for you has more to do with them and their views than you or your abilities, and once you’ve learned somebody does not respect you, it is VERY UNLIKELY you can do anything to gain it from them.

But if I have someone I come into contact with that doesn’t respect me, I usually dislike that person tremendously. Because after all, what right do they have to treat me differently based on anything in their heads? Who wrote the rules that said it was okay to treat other people like crap based on certain parameters?

I believe we’re all here for a reason, and if that’s true, I should respect you and everyone else that’s alive, just because you are a fellow human being. Beyond that, respect doesn’t make much sense to me.

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